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Edie Britt
"Edie Britt was the most predatory divorcée within a five-block radius. Her conquests were numberous, varied and legendary!" ~ Mary Alice Young 'Biography' A Tall Glass Of Water Edie Britt is the most reviled woman on Wisteria Lane, and yet her charm is that she doesn't really understand why. Strong-willed and self-employed, when Edie sees something she wants, she goes after it. And nothing will stand in her way... Season One Edie is a serial divorcée, having already two marriages behind her at the beginning of the show. She, just like Susan Mayer, is attracted to Mike Delfino which brings in some drama between the two and leads Susan to accidentally burn her house when she thinks they are having sex. It is mentioned by her only friend Martha Huber that she has a son but he only appears in Season 3. She is really shaken by Martha's death and is the only one to want to give her some burial. At this occasion Susan, having learned that Martha had written about the fire incident in her diary, reveals the truth to Edie who uses Susan's guilt as a way to step into the Housewives' group. When Susan gets with Mike she reveals that she has already had a sexual encounter with Susan's ex-husband Karl while they were married. She subsequently begins dating him which adds to the drama between her and Susan but also leads her to become close to Julie which goes on until now. Season Two Edie dates Karl much to the displeasure of Susan but Karl swings from the one to the other as he obviously still has feelings for her. He pretends to have broken up with Edie and has sex with Susan to see if they could get back together but Susan finds out that he is still with her she shows him the door. However when Susan has insurance problems Karl remarries her but doesn't tell Edie. When she finds the prenup she thinks he is going to pop the question but later Karl dumps Edie and she goes on a search to find out who the "other woman" is. She finally discovers it to be Susan and burns her house down but later states that she has helped Susan by doing so, putting her once again in the spotlight. Needing to find aculprit Susan has Mike put her a wire and records Edie but due to her poor acting Edie finds out leading into a race and fight between the two which ends when she gets stung by yellowjackets. Susan then feels guilty about it and decides not to bring the tape to the police and asks Edie's help to get the money from the insurance but she refuses, however Susan sticks to her decision not to show the tape, sparing Edie prison. Season Three Edie's nephew, Austin McCann, comes to live with her and spends time with Susan's daughter. Edie tells Julie Mayer (Susan's daughter) that her nephew is trouble and to stay away from him. Edie is involved in a hostage situation. Edie gets involved with Mike, but dumps him when he is arrested for Monique's murder. Later Edie and Susan Mayer catch Austin McCann having sex with Danielle Van de Kamp. Edie's ex dumps their son, Travers, at Edie's house. Edie leaves him alone rather than find a sitter and Carlos Solis spots the boy and invites him into his house. Edie picks her son up and tells Carlos that she gave her ex custody to give her son a better life. Carlos takes pity on her and agrees to look after the boy when needed. Edie and Carlos start an affair leading Gabrielle and Edie's friendship to suffer. When Travers leaves with his dad, Carlos tells Edie he doesn't love her. Edie tells Carlos she will have a child with him if he stays with her. Carlos agrees but Edie continues the pill. Carlos discovers the birth control pills and confronts Edie at Gabrielle and Victor's wedding. Carlos leaves Edie alone and depressed at the wedding. She returns home and hangs herself. The last scene of the last episode of the third season is a frame of Edie's feet dangling off the chair she had climbed to hang herself. Season Four It transpires that Edie's suicide attempt was faked, and was merely a bid for Carlos's attention. He agrees to resume their relationship, leading Edie to discover his secret offshore bank account containing $10 million. She uses this knowledge to blackmail him, asking him to marry her, unaware that Carlos is having an affair with Gabrielle. Edie goes on to announce their engagement, but discovers Carlos's betrayal when she, Carlos, Gabrielle, and Gabrielle's new husband Victor Lang all suffer from crabs. Edie hires someone to spy on Carlos and Gabrielle, and manages to get pictures of the two of them kissing. Edie attempts to get revenge by telling the IRS about his offshore account. She then discovers that Carlos has emptied and closed his offshore account so she turns the pictures over to Victor, knowing he will get revenge. Edie, still feeling vindictive, reveals to the police that Gaby and Carlos may be responsible for her husband Victor's disappearance. A tornado is about to hit Wisteria Lane and Carlos and Gabrielle plan on disappearing. Edie then gets her hands on a folder, giving her access to Carlos's offshore bank account. Gabrielle and Edie fight over the folder, but lose the papers in the tornado. They are forced to take shelter together in Edie's crawl space and are able to put aside their differences for a while. Carlos is blinded in the tornado. Edie finds out Carlos gave her fake jewelry when they were together and gets back at him by telling Gabrielle that Carlos's blindness is permanent, when she thought it was only temporary. When Bree and Orson are having troubles, Edie lets Orson stay with her. Edie later shares a brief drunken kiss with Orson which is seen by Bree, who is looking for Toby the cat. Bree then confronts Edie about the kiss. When Edie says it meant nothing, Bree slaps her and a full scale war erupts between them. Bree sabotages Edie's business by hounding off potential house buyers. Edie visits Orson, who is now living alone at a hotel, to complain about Bree. When she enters the room, she discovers a piece of paper revealing that Bree's baby is really Austin and Danielle's. Edie threatens to tell everyone about it unless Bree does exactly what she wants. Bree tells her friends about her faked pregnancy and about Edie's threats. Five Year Jump At the end of Season Four, Edie leaves Wisteria Lane for good, she tells her son Travers that she will be spending Mother's Day with him. In fact, she will be spending a lot more time with Travers from now on. Season Five Edie returns to Wisteria Lane, five years later, a new and transformed woman. When the housewives notice the change in Edie, they resume their friendship with her. (The fifth season is set five years on from the fourth season finale.) Edie has a new husband, Dave Williams, who is persistent in convincing Edie to get along better with her neighbors. He kidnaps Karen McCluskey's cat after she is rude to Edie, only returning him when Karen apologizes. When Karen attempts to investigate Dave's background, Edie realizes she knows very little about his past. Dave's doctor arrives in Fairview and confronts Dave at the White Horse Club, but Dave strangles him and sets fire to the building. We later learn that Dave only married Edie to have an excuse to move to Wisteria Lane and get revenge on Mike, who turns out had been involved in a car accident that killed Dave's wife and daughter. Edie starts to notice something is off about Dave and is irritated that he doesn't show interest in her. One night she wakes up and sees Dave talking to himself. Edie wants to know why he's acting so strangely and Dave tells her he used to be married before he met Edie and that his wife died. Edie is furious he never told her about this before and throws him out of the house. When Edie is locked in a basement with Susan, they have a heart to heart and Susan tells Edie not to treat men like tissue and to believe in happily ever afters. After they are freed she goes to Dave and tells him to move back in. When Dave tells Edie that Eli Scruggs, the neighborhood handy man, has died, she recalls the time that when she was having marital problems with her ex-husband, Umberto Roswell. In a flashback, while feeling insecure about her appearance, Eli reassures Edie and makes her feel better. After Umberto reveals he is gay and leaves Edie, who is man-hungry and drunk, Eli is there and she cheers herself up by having sex with him. While at a liquor store, Edie observes an encounter between Dave and Father Drance. Suspicious about her husband's motives, she does a research on his past after Father Drance calls her Mrs. Dash. Determined to know more about her husband's past, Edie goes to the local newspaper for information on Dave's family, only to learn that Dave had both a wife and daughter who were killed in a car crash. Later, when she asks Dave how he feels about children, he tells her that his "friend" had a daughter he loved who died in the crash and lives his life wondering what she would've looked like and how old she would've been; he also tells her that he would never have a child as it wouldn't be worth it. Edie is still determined to know a lot more about Dave's past. Upon receiving a news article on the fateful car accident and finally learning the truth about her husband's intentions, she confronts Dave when he returns home from his camping trip. As she attempts to call Mike to warn him, she is almost strangled to death by Dave. Tearful and disorientated, Edie manages to run away and drives down the lane. She almost hits Orson as he stumbles onto the road; swerving to miss him, she hits an electric post instead. Dazed and unaware that the power line had snapped and there was water underneath the car, Edie steps out. She receives an electric shock, falls to the ground and dies a few minutes later. The housewives pay a visit to her son, Travers, to announce her death and to give him her ashes. On the journey up each of the housewives and Karen McCluskey share memories of Edie. In one flashback, Susan and Edie did get along in the beginning, until Susan finds out Edie is having sex with her neighbor Helen's husband. In another flashback, Edie takes Lynette out to cheer her up. In another flashback, Edie tells Bree to go see Orson once a month since he went to jail. In another flashback, Edie reveals to Gabrielle that she always knew she would never see 50. However, although Edie was right, Gabrielle convinced her that in 50 years time they would still go out clubbing wearing short skirts and still be the hottest ladies on the lane. And in a final flashback, Edie tells Karen McCluskey she knows what it's like losing a child. Once they arrive, however, Travers tells them that they were her closest friends and that they should spread the ashes where ever they want. A One Of A Kind Life... Edie was at peace about her death and had no regrets because she lived her life to the fullest and to her it was "a one of a kind life." Other Appearances Edie appears briefly in "Everybody Says Don't" as a hallucination of Dave's, telling him to do away with his complicated and "boring" plan of killing Susan's son, M.J., on a fishing trip, and instead urging him to go and kill M.J. right then and there instead. She then disappears, along with all of Dave's other hallucinations. Family Blood Relatives Son: Travers McLain Mother: Ilene Britt (deceased) Nephew: Austin McCann Grand-Nephew: Benjamin Tyson Katz Other Relatives Ex-Husbands: Charles McLain (divorced), Umberto Roswell (divorced), Dave Williams (Widowed) Past Romances: Eli Scruggs (deceased), Karl Mayer, Mike Delfino, Carlos Solis Britt, Edie